Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize