It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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