New invention idea: vibrating tampons
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
