i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
