I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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