after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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