After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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