this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
