we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize