Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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