living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
