(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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