my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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