you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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