but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
