Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize