Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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