I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
