If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
