Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
