dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
