sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
