I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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