OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
