Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
