I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
