I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
