how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
