Don't you send me to vm
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
