I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize