Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize