All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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