omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize