Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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