Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize