Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
