I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
