I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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