Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
