my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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