Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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