you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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