I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
