If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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