Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
