Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
