Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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