do herpes really smell.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
