So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
