dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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