we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
