You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
