i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just pee around me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
