He told me they were just razor bumps!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
