I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
North Korea, Best Korea!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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