Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just found puke in my bra..
organizing the empties. That sober.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
