Your tits are I can't wait for
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
