Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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