I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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