You're completely useless in the revolution.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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