Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
