Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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