Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
